been awhile..
honestly its been awhile since i wrote in this.. lately i’ve been feeling blah.. sometimes i think i’d be ok then the thoughts of should have would have could have pop up… you all know i need to become more responsible..
nows the time..
thinking hard about today.. do i let her go????.. she’s doing well.. i love her.. i wanna be with her so much but it’s hard.. she’s married.. and on top of that she’s tatted with his name on her leg.. been with her for 3 years and she’s been with him for only 4 months.. hard to believe all of time.. that i fought so hard for someone i will always come up short. And to clear up a couple things.. Carol is the best thing that ever happened in my life.. i may have slandered her personality… She may seemed to be fucked up.. but i kno the real carol… .. I love you.. but i gotta let you go… you do some much better with out me.. i’m being shelfish.. and i need to let you go.. i love you forever carol.. this is my goodbye.. if you ever do come back you kno where to find me..
FML…
holly shit she’s really about to leave today.. in 8 hours i gotta take her to the airport.. she was my everything for about 3 years.. within a blink of an eye.. she’s married…. i’m in love with a married woman… FML but she’s gon be out of my life but will she come back?!?!? will she change.. i love her with all my heart.. i obviously didn’t care what people say about her.. thru all the times i did speak of her.. i gave you the wrong side.. i bring out the bad in all people.. i’m an asshole straight up… i love her with all my heart… she’s the perfect match for me.. she’s pushed me so much when no one else was there…
i love carol… with all my heart.. and someone gotta kill me to take her away..
Friend.. what does the word mean to me someone asked.. When i think of friends i would have to say reliable.. friends at times are always reliable people.. when you need someone they are there for you most of the time.. if you call people friends and they wont come and see you when your sad.. then there not friends at all… Another quality of the word friend is trust… trusting a friend is A BIG THING FOR ME.. Trust is like me giving them my debt card and my pin number knowing that they wont abuse it… thats the trust i have with 9 of my friends… they are hella close to me and i value them more than anythings… yes this must stop haha but idc because i have that must trust for them.. last quality is honesty… HONESTY IS THE KEY to successes…. being honest with a friend is correcting their faults or even calling them out on shit… the friend in my pic on the left is samantha! she is pretty much the blunt friend i had ever since high school… she tells me shit straight up end when it hurts.. she will tell me if i stink.. or am ugly.. or even annoying.. i love her for that and i would never let her go as my best friend… then comes Michelle the girl on the right… Michelle is the type to make fun of when your upset.. but overall she’s a good sport and i love her very much.. she’s the aka Sugar coater.. Sugar coating is pretty much a pity party of how the other person feels bad for you in a bad situation.. she will try to make you feel better when she tries telling you the truth.. instead of droppin you when she tells the truth to you she sets you down nice and soft rather than samantha… NOTHING WRONG WITH SAMANTHA but have both the same love knowing that i won’t fall in love with any of them.. kept promises are great knowing that they will be there for you… Iove you guys both!!
New chapter in my life..
This may seem to be a new chapter in my life… i love it.. i feel that there is hope for the future.. I love my friend i love my family and my second family each day.. pulling away from drama and all the bull shit in my life i’ve never felt so much better… i love my second family.. Gina Samantha Casey Roman and Jenifer… I love you guys endlessly for puttin up with all my shit and telling me whats right from wrong… And next would be the person giving me a wake up call.. Annie yes.. we never did really see eye to eye but you were that slap in my face to tell me whats up.. even tho we really don’t talk cuz i’m not with your sis Amy and you are still my lil sisters regardless my love won’t change for yall… and to you jillian… you were the one that pushed for a change… you were the one who guided me through this whole ordeal.. I truly love what you have done.. i can’t repay you for what you gave me… you were that new breathe i needed to make all this happen.. thanks for being an additional necessary part of my life.. you and everyone else.. have made my life easier.. I LOVE YOU ALL!!! When i think about think of things my life has gotten better because of yall…
Emptiness
today i would usually stroll to the bus stop of the 105 and see my girl today i was sad a bit slow.. and i was late for that bus just knowing that she wasn’t there.. no hugs.. no kisses.. poo for me.. on top of that harassing phones fro mmy ex driving me nuts….
The woman on the bus…
(Rewind to the 26 of May) 2 weeks before this date.. i kinda stalked a girl that caught my eye.. She stood 4’11 looked to be 18-22 and always smiled… I had to get to know more about her.. so instead of fantasizing about being with her i had to observe how she was like… I did this for 2 weeks straight.. Till she asked me on the 26.. did i bake that cake i was sitting next to her.. she notice the cake and asked if i baked it i said yes and intro’d myself to her as the same she did her name was Jillian she was actually shocking 18 years old.. She was a family oriented girl.. knows how to cook.. and had great family stories
Lotz of things to say..
Hello there strangers..and all… I’m Kenneth P… yall can call me kenny or my Gamertag for Xbox360: Filthaypinoy206 but kenny is fine.. Theres alot of sides of me.. One quality that all my friends have is seeing through my bull sh*t and seeing the real me.. Only i can say i have a good handfull size of friends.. Then there is a Love of my life… A Mizz Carol Saechao an unknown status on a relationship in the process of working things out… Basically in all i use to be a bad friend a bad boyfriend… I would lie to my girl to hang wit my friends i lied to my friends to hang wit my girl… When i lost her.. to a better person.. i came back to my so called friends… I finally realized after then i did have thoses D.A.H defined: Down Ass Homies.. Who i did asked all of them “even though my girl and you guys had your differences will you still be there and accept her in your life even if she doesn’t for you” 48% said yes.. When you realized that the 20 something of your friends leave you.. Ya did them favors, Ya were there when they cried, Your there when no one else was.. Your left with only 8 friends that are really there for you to get through the pain.. 5 of those friends are like a family to me… 1 has been there through hell and back.. 2 are new friends but you have done such a great thing for them that you don’t wanna be repaid.. I love those friends.. I value them the most… out of my friends Gina, Samantha, Casey, Roman, Jenifer, Meesh Mesh, And my new friends Vanessa M and Vanessa L… I love yall… Thanks for holdin it down for me when i couldn’t hold it down myself.. My lifesavers and my heros… Straight up i’m out….
(Kennyism) First chapter of my new life…
